Thrillingly bad album titles

actually, it’s a strong contender for worst album artwork of all time tooDo album titles matter? Does it really make a difference if a band or artist sums up an entire album’s worth of music that took months/years/forever to put together in a small, concise and catchy phrase?

Now that music is being ripped (pun intended) from bricks and mortar and into the digital space, pretty much everything associated with the traditional album has lessened in value, from the album artwork to the title to the physical artifact itself. The whole point of all that was to catch a customer’s eye as they were flipping through the stacks at the local record store. Nowadays, you’ve almost certainly heard the buzz on the record from a blog, website or friend the time, so by the time you press ‘download’ the album’s title is the least of your concerns (case in point: terrible titles like He Poos Clouds and Return to Cookie Mountain didn’t stop those albums from becoming indie Internet sensations).

Still, bad album titles provide all sorts of morbid amusement and bewilderment. Last week Cracked Magazine’s website (which inexplicably has become a great resource for random opinionated lists) posted their list of the twenty worst album titles of all time, with Limp Bizkit’s Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water justifiablytopping the list. The twenty selections fall into various categories of titular crimes: pretentiousness, oddity, ill-placed humour, phony attempts at cultural relevancy, and more.

What could have been an authoritative list is tragically rendered illegitimate because someone at Cracked forgot to check the upcoming release calender. Just when you had forgotten about them, Matchbox Twenty are striving to best all contenders in the Bad Album Title Sweepstakes. Their contribution to the competition, a semi-Greatest Hits release due to be released October 2, is…

(wait for it…)

Exile on Mainstream

If you need me to explain to you how jaw-droppingly awful a title that is, I’m afraid you’re probably reading the wrong blog.


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