…in which McNutt watches the Muchmusic Video Awards

Isn’t the “music” borderline ironic by this point?

I remember when the Muchmusic Video Awards used to almost-sorta mean something, back during CanCon’s great second wave in the mid-late 1990s. Now, like the network that it airs on, the MMVAs are stale, predictable and have very little to actually do with rewarding music. In fact, the highlight for me was the clips during the pre-show of past highlights, which for some reason only went back to 2001 or so (I know, I know, sometimes I want to forget that the 90s happened too). Today, it’s merely a shell of its prior self. With no genuinely spontaneous or interesting moments the entire night, here’s what I learned from the 2007 MMVAs:

How sad is it that Devon Soltendieck is the most credible VJ left on the network?

I still have absolutely no idea how Tim Deegan won the VJ search. He’s a black hole of nothingness, a dark recess from which no charisma can escape.

I’m all for participatory media, but I couldn’t possibly care less about what one 16 year old wants to say to another one through nationally-broadcast text messaging.

Best red carpet entrance probably goes to Alexisonfire, who drove up in pimped out cars rocking their hydraulics.

Sam Roberts shaved, and now looks like he’s lost 10 pounds and 20 years.

How much does Much actually care about the “awards” on this thing? Not only are many of the technical (more interesting) awards given out on the pre-show, but they actually cut to commercial right in the middle of presenting Best Post-Production.

I still have absolutely no idea what the non-Dallas dude in Alexisonfire is screaming. I think I made out one word their entire performance.

My favourite thing about Finger Eleven is their bass player. The rest of the band are dressed up in faux metal duds bouncing around the stage like maniacs, and he just stands there upright playing along like the biggest square in the world. He’s so charmingly out of place.

Hillary Duff wins the night’s award for “most obvious use of a backing track to pump up a singer’s weak vocals.” Girl, you know it’s true…

For all my years, I still don’t understand how to judge live hip hop performances qualitatively. The music is mostly pre-recorded, the rapping doesn’t have any melody, they’re not freestyling, so what do I have to form an opinion around? How much they bounce around? In this case, Belly gets thumbs down.

Maroon 5: you’re the number one band in North America right now. Please, please get your record label to send you out an extra guitarist or keyboardist or something, because it’s been a long time since I’ve heard a band take a song as awesome as “Makes Me Wonder” and suck every inch of life out of it. Seek help.

Seeing Avril Lavigne with backup dancers still seems completely and totally wrong.

(If you still think who won the awards actually matters, you can see the list here.)

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